Ngtitin i a bi r consisting f mmuniting bk nd frth t gt wht u want frm thr. Cmmuniting is xtrml important in negotiating. It ruir you t xr id lrl nd listen intntl.
The bilit to mmunit lrl, t xr id so tht th other rt n understand, i an ntil negotiating kill. Wk communication m sink th ngtiting r, so imrv ur kill, ur ngtitin do not fltr.
Rvling ur itin t th rlit rtunit is nt wht I mean by bing clear. It jut means you huld speak, write, or otherwise mmunit ur intended udin undrtnd th message u wih to convey. Thi und iml, but thr r a lt of miundrtnding t the negotiating tbl. Th key t clear mmunitin i t think f what u wnt ur litnr t d, think, or feel as a result f the mmunitin. Do nt think of yourself nd wht u wnt t tll th litnr. Think f the result u wnt your mmunitin t achieve nd how bt t ufull btin th desired result.
Firt be lr with yourself rgrding wht you wnt. Thn rnt ur id so the listener n undrtnd. If ur listener bm lost, it i ur responsibility t hl thm get back n trk. D nt um nthing. B ur ur int are undrtd.
Is it possible that w’v gt the id f ngtitin all wrng?
Sm of u d, nw. It’ t think f negotiation as a gm, or a contest-especially whn you’re gd at it! A you rh the tbl for a negotiation, it n b tmting t think but how u might ruh your nnt, r hw u might tr t get mn f ur terms agreed to as ibl.
But in th end, tht’ n mt nd infftiv rh. Negotiation should rll b about compromise. It should be but both rti invlvd feeling lik th gt mthing f vlubl-nt necessarily ll f thir wishes met, but at lt a fir shake.
Evrn huld wlk w frm the negotiation tbl fling gd about thing; tht’ the id, anyway. It’ idl because it build a fundtin for a lng-trm rltinhi from whih both rti benefit. Consider: If the ttlmnt u reach is lopsided r unfir, at lt one rt is ging to b rlutnt t m bk to th negotiation table again. It’ essentially a burnd bridge.
It’s nt but winnr nd losers, then. Ngtitin i rll about lr nd fftiv communication. Cmmunitin i hw you rriv t a nluin tht leaves u h, but l lv your rtnr feeling lik he r h w heard nd rtd.
Th Lt Art f Listening
S wht are the mmunitin kill you nd in order t b a mr fftiv negotiator? Hr’ n imrtnt ti: The list dn’t bgin with king. It bgin with litning. Active litning i rh the mt ignifint communication skill you will vr learn, and it’ what rt great ngtitr from inxrind nd ineffective n.
A th other person talks, dn’t jut think about how you’re ging t rnd, r what you’re ging to nxt. Tht’ a uik w t l invlubl infrmtin. Intd, rll fu n undrtnding th person’s vlu, goals, nd point of view. Enurg th person to keep tlking, rthr thn rushing t jump bk into th dialogue. “K going,” i mthing grt negotiators ll th time. Or: “Go on!”
Remember t rd between the lin, t. It’s nt just about wht’ bing id, but wht’ being imlid. Evn bd lngug n b tlling. Be lrt t whether th rn seems n, lm, frutrtd, r tndffih.
R-ntring th Cnvrtin
Even when u d trt ur part of th diuin gin, ur gl shouldn’t nril b t start rmbling. Intd, k utin. Tr t lrn wht th thr rn is aiming fr, and whr u might find common ground. Th mr infrmtin you can gthr, th better rrd u will be t rh n agreeable settlement.
Hfull, ur utin will nurg th other ngtitr t fllw uit nd mk m inuiri of you; tht’ whn u’ll really start rriving t mmn grund. In any , wrk thrugh ur conversation as though it i a llbrtin. Don’t communicate lik you’re king to an dvrr; mmunit like u’r king with a llgu, someone with whom u’r wrking tgthr t find a solution t a shared problem.
Remember that negotiation i but mving frwrd together. It may und counterintuitive, but that’s the bt way t rh n agreement tht trul satisfies.
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